2 Goats
by alayneni
Summary: "Two Goats Oliver!" Felicity said angrily. "Two Goats and a Cow," Oliver corrected. "Surely I'm worth at least a herd of goats AND a herd of cows!"


**2 Goats**

 **An:** I do not own Arrow. This story is the first in my one-shot week! More details below.

 **Summary:** "Two Goats Oliver!" Felicity said angrily. "Two Goats and a Cow," Oliver corrected. "Surely I'm worth at least a herd of goats AND a herd of cows!"

* * *

It was a hot day in the tribal regions of Afghanistan. Team Arrow had traced a particularly persistent drug dealer to the area. The dealer was shipping the latest addictive drug directly into Star City from Afghanistan. Every time they shut down one distributor, another one popped up. They decided to go straight to the source and apprehend the head of this syndicate. They left Roy and Thea to handle things in Star City. Oliver had given them a stern speech about keeping out of trouble before they left. Felicity had to cut him off half way and give the succinct drum down version of be safe and don't do anything stupid.

Lyla had accompanied the original team arrow in the hopes that ARGUS could retrieve information from the man. It was most curious the way he was successfully able to penetrate the US market repeatedly and ARGUS wanted that info as well as the network. ARGUS had tried to go in the week before and apprehend the man but they botched the siege and now he had gone into hiding. For all they knew he could have shipped himself to Star City.

They had split up into two teams, Oliver with Felicity and Diggle with would cover more ground that way as the villages were spaced far apart. Felicity called it Team Olicity vs. Team Dyla. Oliver, in his usual broody tone, asked her to not to name the teams and reminded her that this was not a competition. As usual, she ignored him. That was one of the reasons that Oliver loathe to take his wife in the field. She easily got wrapped up in some of the excitement and could lose focus. If it were possible to leave her home he would have but he would have come home to a loud angry Felicity. The last time he had experienced that, it took him two full months of grovelling to get back in her good books.

They had a fairly good idea what region of the country their target was hiding in. Team Olicity had been tasked with checking the tribes in the north east quadrant while Team Dyla was checking the south east. Oliver and Felicity had scoured their area and were headed back to the designated meet point. Felicity had been silent the entire way back to camp. Oliver knew she was just waiting to explode but she didn't want to do it in front of their poor guide who might runaway and never come back.

Felicity marched into the tent where Lyla and Diggle were pouring over a map. She tore off the scarf she had used to cover her head and face as per the custom in the area.

"Looks like something didn't go too well," Lyla said watching Felicity begin to pace the length of the tent while she waited for Oliver to come inside. As soon as he arrived she started up.

"Two Goats Oliver!" Felicity said angrily. Her voice came out kind of dry and she grabbed a fresh bottle of water and proceeded to drink half the bottle.

"Two Goats and a Cow," Oliver corrected taking the bottle of water from her and drinking the other half. They were not cut out for this heat.

"Surely I'm worth at least a herd of goats **AND** a herd of cows!" Felicity countered.

Diggle chuckled. He had been in this position once before.

"Relax Felicity, Johnny once 'sold' me for two chickens. Two goats and a cow is a great offer!" Lyla told her.

Felicity glared.

"I don't think you're helping much Lyla," Oliver told her.

Felicity rounded on Diggle, "You sold your wife for two chickens?"

"Technically the deal was never completed. I didn't get to make my counter offer before the Special Forces team raided the village," Diggle informed them.

Lyla tilted her head to the side to study her husband, "What was your counter offer?" she asked curiously.

"A grenade shoved up his ass for thinking my wife was only worth two chickens," he said with a smile.

"Oh Johnny you say the sweetest things," Lyla said patting his hand affectionately.

"I still think I'm worth way more than two goats," Felicity grumbled before turning back to Oliver, "I still can't believe you humoured him."

"Felicity, we were trying to get information. I couldn't very well be rude to him," Oliver replied incredulously.

"Rude or not, I can't believe you would entertain the idea of selling me!"

Oliver gave her a flat look, "I never entertained the idea of selling you. I was merely playing along with the tribal chief so that we would find out where our target is."

"Did you find him?" Diggle asked cutting through what was no doubt going to be a very long argument that would end with Oliver grovelling.

"Yes, he's 3 clicks north of here, hiding in a goat pen," Oliver told them.

"And he's back with the goats!" Felicity said throwing her hands up in the air.

* * *

The mission was a success. They apprehended the man in the exact pen that they had been told. Felicity caught a brief whiff of him as they brought him in and she was thankful all she had to do was monitor them on the satellite and advise of any insurgent movement close by. The man stank. She didn't know how they sat in the hummer with him for 3 hours. This was one mission she was happy to put behind her. Again she wondered why their targets never settled on a nice exotic island in the Caribbean. She really wanted to go to the Cayman Islands.

They were seated side by side on the jet back to Star City when Oliver reached his left hand across her lap and placed it over her left hand, threading his fingers through hers. The result was that their wedding bands were side by side.

"Felicity to the world these rings mean we are married, to me they mean so much more. We were partners long before you agreed to marry me the first time even after my error with regard to William we were still partners. We had a few weeks break but we were still there for each other even though we weren't in a relationship. This ring reminds me of all the work I did to earn your trust again, to prove to you that I am the man you knew I could be. That man would never sell you, he would sooner die than part with you."

"Oliver you know I don't like when you start talking about dying," Felicity said squeezing his hand.

"I know, I got you an apology gift," Oliver said handing her a silver bracelet with a beautiful blue stone set in the middle. "After you spoke about it being mined illegally to support the Taliban efforts I looked up the meaning of the stone. It's a symbol of royalty and honour. It represents truth and wisdom. The truth is, I would not be the man that I am today without you Felicity. I cannot exist without you. To sell you would be to sell myself. You're not getting rid of me that easily baby," Oliver said leaning forward and kissing her softly on the lips.

When they separated, Felicity stared at the blue stone on her hand, "Apology accepted but I hope this didn't come from the lapis lazuli mine that's being run by the local war lord?" Felicity said.

"No, I know you hate blood diamonds, and stones that support war. One of the villages we visited had a secret source outside of the main mine. I bought it directly from them. Their craftsmen aren't the best which is why it's a plain silver band but I think it brings out the beauty of the stone."

"It does. I love it very much, thank you. How much did it cost?" Felicity asked.

Oliver had a mischievous look in his eye when he look at her, "Two goats."

* * *

 **An:** I have 16 one-shots on my computer and I decided to make a concerted effort to get some of them posted so I decided to do a one shot week. I picked the top six stories that were mostly finished. These are what you can look forward to.

One shot week:

Today: _2 Goats_

Wednesday: _Mini-Me_

Thursday: _Generations_

Friday: _How to Train your Billionaire_

Saturday: _Intruder Alert_

Sunday: _Queen Gym_


End file.
